So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
