so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize