I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Drunk is not a location!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
