called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
