Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
