so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
