I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
