we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
