the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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