I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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