adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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