I hate all girls vehemently.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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