pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
