Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
