physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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