god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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