If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize