He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
