I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
