is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
