it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
