guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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