So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
