yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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