I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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