Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
