as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
