I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
