is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
