its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
