May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
