I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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