Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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