he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize