I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
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You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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