Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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