I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
