There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
