it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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