I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
