You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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