tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Green mimosas i think yes
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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