She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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