that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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