in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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