My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize