he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
then he tried to convert me to islam
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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