So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
