maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
