non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
