Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I need water and some morals
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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