physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
