in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
