i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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