I bet he comes in French.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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