You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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