you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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